Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize