He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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