how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
