he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
