Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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