do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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