How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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