So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
