Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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