I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
