i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize