summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
