Already got asked if we're dating
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize