It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
