Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
