I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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