my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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