Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
