what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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