she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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