If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
