Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
