SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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