I want to make a zoo with you.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
