Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
