Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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