Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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