tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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