just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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