you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
