I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
