I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You ruined the universe
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
