i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
