half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
