True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
