Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
this boner is exhausting
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
