there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
