Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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