why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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