if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
