i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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