i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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