This is not my ceiling
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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