I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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