This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
