this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
