You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
