Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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