cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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