A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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