he wants to bone in the snuggie
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
