mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
