I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
