I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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