I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
