Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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