how can u be prego again
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
