He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
