He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
