peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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